Yet Another Okami SEQUEL!
by mochi2isluv
Summary: That's right, this is the Okamiden parody you've all been waiting for! Join adorable, impressionable Chibi on his quest to save Japan and wreck havoc with the help of his equally adorable party train. RATED T FOR SWEARS AND DANGEROUS LEVELS OF CUTENESS.
1. Chibi

**A/N: Hey everyone, I have gotten quite a few requests to write an Okamiden parody, so here's my shot at it! If you haven't read it already, I strongly suggest at minimum skimming through the prequel, Yet Another Okami Parody, because if not, a lot of things probably won't make sense. Like why Link from Windwaker is in here, for one. Also be warned: HEAVY SPOILERS. If you have not played the game, PLAY IT. Or just don't get mad for being spoilered. XD  
>Without further ado, I hereby present Yet Another Okami...SEQUEL!<br>**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Which Will Bother Tense and Uptight Busybodies<strong>

"Now listen closely, my son," said a voice we recognized as Susano. "Once upon a time, there was a white wolf…"

"Come on, Pops, I know this already!" cried a young voice impatiently. Susano scowled. He wanted to finish his story, dammit. The owner of the young voice, who we haven't been formally introduced to yet but could be recognized from Okamiden teasers as Kuni, jumped up and down with excitement. An adventure was coming for him, he just knew it. "I don't care about all that stuff with Orochi and whatnot, I just wanna know, will there be Oinas in this game? Are there cool new places to explore? What's changed about the old places? Why doesn't Amaterasu come back down to save Nippon? Will Chibi's father be revealed? Is Chibi Waka and Ammy's son? IS THE BLONDE KID WAKA AND AMMY'S SON?"

Suddenly, there was a loud crack from behind them, like the sound of a tense and uptight person finally losing it after all the spoilers involved in that outburst. Susano and Kuni glanced nervously at the Guardian Sapling, which they swore had moved.

"Huh!" huffed Sakuya, sparkling into appearance. She scowled as father and son rushed off to do some more training. "That boy! Speaking about things he barely even knows! I swear, ever since the great Amaterasu left for the Celestial Plains, humans have become less and less spiritually proper!"

"That's because he's possessed by Akuro," pointed out the esteemed author of this story and its prequel, chewing noisily on some of Yumigami's last mochi. Supposedly Tsuki and Ammy had taken the rest, but being an author had its perks, one of which included knowing where the stash of hidden mochi was located. "He showed Kuni those Okamiden trailers, which is probably why he knows those things."

Saukya whipped around and glared at the author of this story, who merely shrugged, said, "Hey, I just tell it like it is," and promptly disappeared to hang out in Sei-An, because that's where all the cool people are. Although mostly because that's where Sakuya wasn't.

Somewhere far away, another entity—who was noticeably more malevolent and powerful than the tree sprite Sakuya—lost patience with the author and cracked a strange shrine, which caused Sei-An (and the rest of Nippon) to be shrouded in an ugly darkness.

"Damn," the author sighed, and then, taking the hint, disappeared from the story for the time being.

[xx]

Link, Celestial Envoy, Hero of Time, champion of Himiko, partner of the great goddess Amaterasu, wandering minstrel, and hot young adventurer extraordinaire, was bored. Ammy hadn't been on Skype in forever, although not that it mattered, since his laptop had been confiscated and crashed into oblivion by good ol' Sakuya as soon as she found out he had one. Which was rather soon, considering he used it to try and take a picture of Sakuya's peaches. Moreover, people's faith in the gods seemed to have dwindled, so there wasn't much for him to do as a Celestial Envoy. He sighed.

"Don't look so sad, little elf!" said a young girl with a gourd around her neck.

"I'm not an elf, I'm a PREFECTLY NORMAL-SIZED HOT YOUNG MAN!" said Link, striking a pose with his wand. "Hey, did you wanna see me dance? It'll inspire your faith in the gods! I'm a Celestial Envoy, you know."

"Sure!" the naïve little girl said. She sat down and Link did his windwaker dance, which she actually seemed to genuinely enjoy. After he finished, she clapped.

"Thank you Mr. Elf!" she said.

"Do you feel…inspired, little girl?" asked Link, leaning forward and in general sounding like a total creeper.

"Oh yes," said the little girl. "You cheer up too, Mr. Elf!"

Link watched the little girl go, then sighed and flopped on his back. "I miss you, Ammy," he said. "When are you gonna come visit so we can party it up?"

"Party?" echoed an imp.

"Someone'd say party?"

Two green imps danced over Link's head, chanting, "Party party party," and looking very threatening indeed.

"Hey!" cried Link. "You challenging me?" And a dancing contest commenced.

Suddenly, the two imps shrieked in terror and burst into light and flowers. The most adorable little puppy was watching him, wagging its tail and barking cutely.

Link almost died. In fact, everyone within a ten meter radius almost died.

"You…" He gaped at stared at the little puppy, who looked like an exact replica of Ammy. "Who…what…?"

"Oh right, you're kind of slow, aren't you?" the puppy said, cocking its head. "Mom told me her friend was an—well, _I_ can't say it, but she says her friend in Japan is an _idiot_."

"Hey hey hey, what the hell, brat," Link pouted. "I'm _obviously_ an intelligent and hot young—wait, you said mom? Who's your mom, then?"

The puppy snickered. He was about to make some kind of remark when the sky rudely decided to turn purple, of all colors. The puppy had inherited his mother's dislike of improper time calculation based on the amount of light available, and hurriedly whisked the sun back out again.

"HOLY SHITZ!" Link exclaimed. "IS AMMY YOUR MOM? THE HELL, KID, THAT'S THE SORT OF THING YOU TELL ME FIRST!"

"I thought it was obvious," shrugged the puppy.

"Hey, since you look exactly like a baby Ammy, how bout I call you Chibi, eh?" said Link, adding "Best Nicknamer" to his list of titles and achievements. Chibi wagged his tail, having not been previously trained on Link's horrendous nicknaming abilities. Besides, he always wanted a friend to give him an affectionate nickname. His mom had a bunch.

"Hold up," Link said, holding up his hand. He had gotten a very disturbing thought. "If Ammy's your mom, then who did she…" His eyes went wide. "OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME IT'S THE PROPHET."

Chibi stared at him and cocked his head.

"Oh nevermind. Hey kid, you wanna do something fun?" He grinned and whipped out his wand. Now the wand, he had been warned of. He considered backing away slowly. "It's a game your mom and I loved to play…C'mon, kid, let's head over to Kamiki!"

"I thought we were in Kamiki."

Link tried to jump on Chibi's back, but ended up squishing him. "Nah, this is some village they carved out of the side of Shinshu Field in nine months to…uh…I'm not sure what it was built for," Link said. No one really knew why, either.

"Oh okay," said Chibi, accepting that as a proper explanation. He made Link walk when they made for Kamiki. Sakuya appeared to be waiting for them, looking hassled.

"Hey Sakuya, guess what—" Link called, but suddenly stopped short. "Damn, Chibi! We don't have any spoilers for this game yet!"

Sakuya sniffed triumphantly. "That's right. Besides, I have heard enough spoilers for the day."

"What?" cried Link. "From who? Hook me up with them! We can play let's annoy Sakuya together!"

"Why would I tell you now, bug?"

Link fumed and whined, "Then at least give me back my computer!"

"No."

"I'll dance until you give it back!"

Horrified by the prospect, the sky darkened and attempted to strike Link down before he could make a move. Fortunately for Link and unfortunately for the rest of the world, the lightning missed and struck the Guardian Sapling instead, creating a giant crack down the middle.

"Heh, I win!" cheered Link, doing his victory dance. "Chibi, just leave her like that…hey, what the hell are you—NO, STOP, DON'T DO IT, CHIBI!"

"Do what?" Chibi asked innocently, having already restored the Guardian Sapling using his newfound Restoration technique.

"Dammit, that's like the only time it's useful, too," Link muttered.

Sakuya reappeared in a swirl of sparkles. "Ahhh…I thank you, Chibiterasu," she said, shooting a glare at Link. "You are as kindhearted and great as your mother. But I'm afraid I won't be of much use as I am—"

"_You'renouseatall_," Link coughed. Sakuya snapped her fingers and a thin switch appeared out of thin air to whack him on the head.

"In any case, Nippon is in grave danger, Chibiterasu," Sakuya continued, as Link scowled and rubbed his head. "I can sense you are not as powerful as Amaterasu was, so you will need to find a human partner to aid you on your quest."

Uh-oh, Chibi thought. His mom warned him the tree sprite would try to rope him into some quest to save the world. He was beginning to think that restoring Sakuya had been a bad idea after all, even if it meant annoying Link.

"What?" Link cried. "Why does he need a human partner! I'm a freakin' Celestial Envoy, for cryin' out loud! I can go with him!"

"No. He's too impressionable. You'll rub off on him."

"I don't see what's wrong with that," Link muttered.

"You still have your duties over in Yakushi, Esteemed Celestial Envoy," Sakuya retorted, in a voice that suggested the decision was final and there would be no arguing. "Good luck, Chibiterasu!" She showered sparkles over him, pointedly leaving Link out.

"Well fine, it's not like I wanted to be covered in sparkles anyway!" Link shouted at the tree. He glowered and muttered curses under his breath, turning to Chibi. "Godammit, Chibi, why'd ya have to go ahead and revive her, anyway?"

Chibi shrugged. "She was pretty."

Link grinned and patted him on the back. "Well, Chibi, looks like the two of us will get along just fine. But let me tell you, there are better babes in this world than Sakuya. She's too uptight to be any fun. C'mon, let's head down to the village and I'll show you what I mean..."

"Okay," Chibi said. He hoped there were turnips, too.

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know how I'm doing so far! Review please, and have a nice day! :D**


	2. Kuni

**A/N: Hello everyone it's been quite a while since I've written anything, I'm really sorry for that T^T I had more writer's block and to be honest nothing gets rid of writer's block better than writing parodies, and I know everyone's been looking forward to more chapters of this so here you are! I have a lot of projects on my plate, including work and things, but I'll try to bang out at least a couple more chapters of this before disappearing again. Keep up the reviews because I love them and I love you all for being so patient with me! (also reviews make me feel obligated to write more, so they're a win-win for everyone) Anyway please enjoy :D**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: In Which Together Everyone's Acronyms Suck<strong>

Link never got the chance to show Chibi anything, because all the villagers had been turned to statues.

"MY BAAAAAAAABEEEEES!" Link wailed, clutching at Kushi's statued form. While he was busy lamenting, Chibi got to business making the sun come out because it was too dark. Apparently, this made all the villagers come back to life, and there was much rejoicing. Chibi then helped Mushi's mama defeat some rascally imps and restore her scarecrow, and then dug up some of her turnips as payment.

"Yuuuuuum," he said, quickly running away before Mushi's mama could smack him.

"Okay Chibi, I guess we need to find you a partner or whatever, because apparently I'm not good enough," said Link, who had been similarly chased away by Susano. "Preferably someone who can help slice open that huge rock in the middle of the road, cuz I can only blow wind at it."

All of a sudden, a little girl burst into tears.

"Woah, hey, what's with the waterworks, huh?" Link said, but the girl didn't respond.

"You made her cry," said Chibi.

"What? No I didn't! I—"

"Rascals!" piped a squeaky little voice, and they both turned to look up at a red-faced kid flailing around a sword on the top of Susano's house. "I, Kuni, won't forgive you for making a girl cry!"

"I DIDN'T MAKE HER CRY!" Link shouted. "All I did was say something about a huge stupid rock—"

The girl renewed her bawling even louder.

"Okay, that makes me look bad now, but I swear I wasn't even talking to the chick!"

"Never fear!" The little boy ignored Link and leapt to the ground, swinging his toy sword haphazardly. "I'll defeat whoever did this to you!"

The girl kept crying, and everyone looked at each other awkwardly.

"So, uh...what happened?" Kuni said.

"Demons attacked me…in Shinshu Field," she hiccupped. "I was so scared I dropped my mirror, and now I'll never get it back again!"

"Mirror?" Link scoffed.

"It's all I have left of my precious, long-departed mother!" the little girl said, giving Link a sour glare before hastily covering her face in her sleeves again. "You'll help me, won't you?"

"D-Demons?" Kuni stuttered. "Well, uh, I mean, of course I'll help you! Ahaha, what's the son of the greatest warrior ever good for, right?"

"Hey, looks like we found you a new partner, Chibi," said Link.

"He's not very brave…" Chibi noted. "Also is it really okay to send two kids alone to fight demons?"

"They do it all the time in YA novels," Link shrugged. Chibi wasn't sure what YA novels were since he'd only ever read his mother's fanfiction, but whatever they were they sounded pretty legit.

"Hi Kuni I'm your new best friend," Chibi said.

"Wait this mutt is my partner?" said Kuni. "Well, I dunno. You don't look very strong. I don't want you to get in my way when I'm killing demons, got that?"

"I'm not a mutt, I'm a god," Chibi replied, a little hurt. "And I'm probably more competent than you."

"So, uh, this way!" Kuni pointed his sword back toward Konohana. "Let's go to the shrine to pray for victory!" He tripped and Chibi snickered.

"It's probably only because you're scared," he said, "but okay."

They entered the River of the Heavens under Sakuya's tree and were met by a series of puzzles involving buttons and bridges that could only withstand the weight of one kid. They also found a weird penguin statue which turned out to be constellation. Three adorable baby penguins

"Are there even any penguins in Japan?" Chibi whispered to Kuni, but he only replied, "Huh?"

"We are the young Michigami, and hold the brush power of teamwork!" the baby penguins burbled. "Teamwork, which means…" The middle penguin looked to its siblings. "What does it mean again?"

"Together Everyone Absolves Murder?" said the one on the left.

"No, I think it's Teaching Everyone About Mulching."

"What about Tearful Endings Affect Men?"

"No, no, it includes 'everyone', I know that much at least…Ah! Together Everyone Achieves Money!"

"Are you sure that's it?" Chibi asked doubtfully.

"Pretty positive," said the Young Michigami. "In any case, this brush power allows you to work as a team!"

"Cool," said Chibi. "I like money."

They continued on their way, tackling more complicated teamwork puzzles as they went.

"How would anyone else get to the Cave of Nagi if the bridges can't even hold up two kids?" Kuni said.

"I think the more important question is how anyone could have done these puzzles without teamwork," said Chibi, who seemed to equate teamwork with money. After an inordinate amount of puzzles and wobbly bridges they made it to the Cave of Nagi and earned another brush power for their work.

"Hey we could probably cut down that huge stupid rock your dad put up," said Chibi.

"What? Oh yeah I guess we could," Kuni said, sweating. "That means we've got to go out into Shinshu Field, huh? I mean, not that I'm scared to or anything…"

"Right."

Susano was still being stupid about his stupid rock which he was so proud of for having put up in the first place, so Kuni had the grand idea of getting him drunk with his mom's sake and then slicing the rock open while his dad was asleep.

"Wait, why did I do that?" he cried after Chibi stepped out into Shinshu Field. "If the rock was still there we wouldn't have to fight the demons!"

Chibi snickered. His new partner was kind of stupid sometimes.

"A-Anyway, let's get going, Mutt!" Kuni said, pointing his sword straight ahead. "For honor!"

"And teamwork!" Chibi added, bounding toward Hana Valley.


	3. Hana Valley

**A/N: Pretty long chapter, but you guys probably don't mind. I'm hoping to write a bunch of chapters in the next couple weeks just so I can have them to make update periods less long, so I'll try my best. Also this chapter hosts a special game of guess that pokemon, kudos to whoever guesses correctly XD  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: In Which Some Things Just Can't Be Helped<strong>

"Welp, looks like the lever to the gate's broken," Kuni said, shrugging his shoulders. "Can't be helped."

"It can _always_ be helped," Chibi replied smartly, replacing the broken lever with a swish of his brush. He felt like he was getting pretty good at this whole smart-alecky thing. And the celestial brush stuff too, he supposed.

"Oh hey look, it's fixed! Ahaha…"

Kuni's laugh trailed off and he took a couple rounds at the lever. His pride as a man wouldn't allow him to take a derisive stare-down from a puppy. No matter how hard he pushed or pulled, however, the lever wouldn't budge.

"Welp, this lever's not budging at all. Guess it can't be helped."

Chibi cocked his head suspiciously. "Are you _sure_ you tried as hard as you co—"

"IT CAN'T BE HELPED."

"Hey dude's, what can't be helped?" A man with a pleasant yet unremarkably indistinctive face hovered behind them.

"Oh hey, Awesome Tarou," Kuni said. "We're trying to get into Hana Valley, but the lever's stuck."

"Ooh, _that_ lever, huh?" Awesome Tarou rubbed his chin. "Yeah, dudes, that one's a toughie. It takes at least ten able-bodied men to open it! I did see something shiny go by, though."

"Something shiny?!" Kuni cried. "Chibi, we've gotta catch it! Shiny's are super rare!"

"_Woooooaaah_," said Chibi. "But wait, what's Awesome Tarou say about the lever? That lever's like Kuni's size, he's not that big."

"But anyway, you hear that, Mutt?" Kuni said, ignoring him. "We don't have ten able-bodied men at our disposal, so I guess we can't get in. Kinda sad for the girl, but I mean what can't be helped can't be helped."

"You just don't want to fight demons."

"NO…There aren't even ten people in Kamiki, so how would we get enough people?"

"We can enlist help from Yakushi can't we?"

"Nah, that's filled with old people and sick kids, it's not like we can ask them to help, come on Mutt."

"Well, I'm a _god_, so I can do whatever I want," Chibi said, ending the argument. "I'll open that gate no matter what."

Unfortunately, Chibi was actually only a godling and therefore not qualified to evoke the god title and all privileges associated. He didn't get to find out, though, because Susano interrupted them, hugging half of his huge stupid rock to his chest. With a manly "HURRR!" he threw the rock straight in front of the gate and brushed off his hands.

Kuni looked at Chibi and shrugged his shoulders. "Pops will be Pops."

"If by that you mean Susano is dumb, then yeah," Chibi said, slicing the rock in half again. For some reason only half of it disappeared.

"Hey, why'd you do that, little Fido!" Susano cried. "I was proud of that rock, too…"

"Dad, we won't be able to get into Hana Valley this way!" Kuni said. He gave Susano a thumbs up and mouthed _thanks _while Chibi was busy halving the huge stupid rock into a more manageable sized stupid rock.

_An admirable effort, young nephew,_ said Tsuki, who was still in Susano's sword.

"Oh hey, Unlce Tsuki!" Chibi said, pausing his rock slicing for a moment. "Mom told me a lot about you. Do you still glow when the moon comes out?"

Ammy neglected to mention that this was a touchy subject for Tsuki and he didn't want to talk about it, but fortunately Kuni cut in and spared everyone's feelings.

"It's a good thing you're here, Dad! D'you think you can bust in there and grab a mirror for us? You always say it's a man's job to keep his promises, after all—and you're the greatest warrior of all time, so it should be no problem for you, right?"

"Oh, uh, yes, that's right!" Susano said. "That's all well and good, but uh…you see, I put that rock there to test you, of course! Not because I want to protect you from being skewered alive by demons or anything…uh, in any case, you've passed with flying colors, son!" Susano clapped Kuni on the back. "I'll just open the gate for you. Remember: Challenges make a real man!"

"Yeah!" Kuni replied, his sword shaking as he held it up in the air. He was hopeless, Chibi thought. "But Dad, the only problem is that the gate needs ten people to open!"

_Susano holds the stupidity of ten men, if that counts for anything_, said Tsuki. Apparently it did, because the lever creaked forward, lifting the gate.

"Oh," said Kuni.

"Heh," smirked Chibi.

_Oh god_, Tsuki said. _My sister's raised this one to be just like her._

"Of course!" Chibi replied. "My mom is the best!"

With one last slash of the endlessly-halving rock, Chibi marched through the gate to Hana Valley, Kuni putting up a brave show at his heels.

"Hey, this isn't so bad!" Kuni said, looking around at all the grass and clear, sparkling water. "I mean, it could be worse. Wasn't it all cursed and gross and stuff a while ago?"

"Yeah, this is easy mode. We are kids after all." He slashed at another rock and pouted. "Why can I only cut rocks in half?"

After more slashing and a little exploring, they acquired some bones, some ink pots, and a lump of clay. Kuni played with the clay while Chibi continued up the path. He absently slashed at a particularly lumpy rock, and the thing made a weird _boing_ sound and opened a giant eye in the center of its head.

"Bo-oing!" it said.

"WAAAGH!" screamed Kuni and Chibi.

"Message from Master Link!" said the weird rock statue, which was still bouncing rather disconcertingly. Suddenly Link's voice replaced that of the rock's and said, "Hey guys! I know all the fans love me and you guys miss me already so I've put these rocks up in random places so I can give you hints or some shit, I dunno. Also they call me master, isn't that cool?" He snickered.

"Wait, how did you set these up and everything? I was with you since the start of this story!" Chibi said, confused.

"I'm a time-traveling wizard of awesome with a wind-stirring baton-wand, that's how!" Link answered. "Uuuh, anyway, yeah, don't question it! I've gotta annoy Sakuya now, have fun kicking master ugly frog's ass, kids!"

There was a click like someone hung up a phone and then the rock gave one last _bo-oing_!

"Did he say frog?" said Kuni.

"It's okay, my mom told me he likes to joke around," Chibi assured him. "I'm sure there aren't any frogs—WAH, STOP HITTING ME, HWA!"

The little frog burst into a cloud of purple smoke, and they stared at the place where it disappeared for a minute or two, until Kuni whispered, "Is that the frog he meant?"

"If you want to go back, you can't," snuffed Chibi. "We still need that girl's mirror, remember? Also the sky is still purple and it bugs me."

So they continued along the path kicking little frogs' asses until they reached a cave with a mural on the wall depicting some weird transformation of balls into dangerously adorable plants. Chibi drew a sun in the empty spot hoping it would fix the weird purple sky for good this time, but instead it opened up a path underneath the mural, which didn't make much sense in terms of technology but Chibi was no expert and only a kid besides, so he paid it no mind.

Chibi and Kuni solved more teamwork puzzles and earned more lumps of clay than they did money, and finally came across a statue of a monkey.

"Look, Mutt, another constellation!" Kuni cried. It was less of a constellation and more of an outline of a monkey in the sky, but whatever.

"Child of the Sun Goddess, I am the Young Sakigami," said the baby monkey that appeared in a whirl of golden clouds. It twirled its toy drum, causing spiky music notes to dance around them. Chibi made sure not to touch them. They looked unnervingly threatening. "Use my power to BLOOM the world and make TREES and FLOWERS beautiful! Bloom all the things!"

"I think that was a subtle hint," Kuni whispered.

So they made their way systematically through the valley again, blooming every tree they came across. For their efforts, they cleared another path deeper into the valley.

_Puzzles are weird_, Chibi thought. He was new to the concept of adventure game puzzles, unlike Link and his mother, who were well-worn pros.

"Huh, looks like we can't go farther unless we make a bridge or something," said Kuni. "Can't be helped."

"You can stop saying that now," said Chibi. "I already have three brush techniques, it's like I'm a full god." He sliced down a couple giant tree trunks, but was at a loss for the third one, which had a gaping chunk missing from the side. He wasn't at a loss for long though. "Oh wait, I have Rejuvenation," he said. "So I guess I have _four_ brush techniques." Everyone always forgets about Rejuvenation.

They finally reached the other side and halved a rock that was blocking some debris, which allowed a ball to float downstream. Chibi attempted to push it into the hole where it belonged, but unfortunately he wasn't aware of how terrible the ball-rolling mechanics were and spent a good ten minutes chasing the ball down the slope.

"No, just get into the spot!" he grumbled as it moved haphazardly from one side to the other without going in. "Kuni, can't you help me with this?"

"What? Oh, I'm busy," Kuni replied, shaping clay into perfect spheres.

Chibi sighed. His partner was useless.

After much struggling the ball finally made its way into the hole and a dangerously adorable baby plant appeared in the middle of the room. Luckily for Chibi and Kuni, this game was already so adorable that everyone automatically acquired an immunity to spontaneously materializing cute baby plants, and therefore were spared death by cuteness. The audience may not be so lucky.

"Oh crap, I don't know how to take care of baby plants!" Kuni said.

"Don't you just like, give them sun and water and stuff?" said Chibi. Luckily for him he was the son of the sun goddess, which by default also made him a sun godling. This was his cue to make the sky stop being purple forever. "Yesss," he grinned, as the sun turned the baby plant into a baby Sakuya tree. He quickly frowned when the sky was still purple. "Darn it, that means there's still more evil things."

"What?! More evil things? How can it get more evil than these frogs?" Kuni asked.

"I dunno, let's ask Link," Chibi said, slashing a weird eye rock.

"Bo-oing! Message from Master Link!" it said, and then in Link's voice, "Leap before you think!"

"Wow, that's terrible advice," said Chibi. "Well whatever. Let's go, Kuni!" He pushed Kuni down the hole and leapt after him, landing on his head.

"Ouch, thanks Mutt! Look, now we're in some scary place that looks suspiciously like a boss room!"

"UWAGH!" croaked something that sounded suspiciously like a boss. A giant lumpy red frog with an eye patch burst out of the river flowing underneath the sapling and slammed its webbed hands on the bank. "DID SOME FOOL COME TO CHALLENGE ME, EH?"

"Oh my god!" Kuni squeaked. "Chibi is that—is that toad a Canadian _pirate?!_"

"I didn't know such things existed!" Chibi replied in awe.

"THAT'S ALL IRRELEVANT, YAH?" rumbled the Canadian pirate toad. "ONLY THE DESCENDENT OF NAGI CAN DEFEAT ME, AND EVEN THAT'S LAUGHABLE EH!"

The toad guffawed. Kuni trembled.

"I—I…I'm not Susano's son! I can't do it!" he cried, scrambling away.

"Wait, you're not? You…lied to me?!" Chibi called after him, but Kuni was fast when he wanted to be.

"HUH, SO IT'S JUST YOU TA CHALLENGE ME NOW, EH LITTLE RUNT?" said Master Anura, pirate king of the toads. "HAVE AT IT!"

"O-Okay!" Chibi said, preparing himself. He was much too young to be fighting a boss so soon in his adventure. Even his mom didn't get to fight one until Agata Forest, at least.

Chibi spent most of his time running from Master Anura, who kept trying to squish him under his puffy cheeks.

"ENOUGH A THAT, FACE ME LIKE A MAN!" Master Anura bellowed, and leapt into the air with his giant belly button hanging out. Chibi slashed it because it looked bouncy and also kind of gross.

"HAUBLEH!" Master Anura spat, coughing up a giant ball onto the other bank. "YOU MADE ME SPIT UP THE SAPLING'S FRUIT! BUT YER NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS, EH!"

"That's a fruit?" said Chibi doubtfully. Suddenly Kuni came running back.

"Hey, I'm sorry for leaving you Mutt!" he called. "But I'm not Susano's real son, I'm adopted! That's why I'm so old even though it's only been nine months since your mom defeated Orochi and Yami and stuff!"

"Wait, what?! Things are moving way too quickly!" Chibi said, his mind spinning. "Isn't that something people reveal much later?"

"Can't be helped!" Kuni cried. "Anyway, let's kick this toad's ass together, Mutt!"

"Yeah!" Chibi said, grinning.

Kuni grunted as he hefted the fruit. "Um, actually, I don't know what to do with this ball! Guide me!"

Chibi sighed. Kuni wasn't very helpful at all.

After more powerslashing and guiding Kuni to the sapling roots, they defeated Master Anura.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" the toad croaked, before dissolving into ugly purple smoke. Something shiny soared through the air, and Kuni chucked a round piece of clay at it.

"Yes! Caught it!" he cried triumphantly. "Hey Mutt, I caught a shiny!"

"Oh wow, what kind?"

"Not sure," Kuni said. He picked up his pokeball and shoved it on his belt where five other balls of different color clay were also situated. "But it's probably the one the girl was looking for. I mean, it's kind of shaped like a mirror. And it's shiny."

The mirror-shaped pokemon jiggled. It was very cute. Kuni held it by the protruding stem so that its round yellow face was upside down.

"Buddy-buddy!" it said.

They died and revived in front of the guardian sapling, which was actually pretty convenient. Chibi bloomed the tree and Hana Valley burst into flowers and bunnies and bright blue sky, which was a great relief to him.

"Mission accomplished!" Kuni said, waving the pokemon around while it repeated _buddy-buddy_! "Let's get outta here! Not that I'm in any rush or anything, but you know, that girl's waiting for her mirror—er, thing."

"Yeah, this place kind of sucks," Chibi said. Apparently he also acquired his mother's taste of landscape. He made sure to bloom all the trees first though. Ammy would have been proud.


	4. Shinshu Field and Yakushi Village

**Chapter 4: In Which More Things Are Bloomed Than Necessary**

Susano was still holding up the gate for them when they left, and once they were safely out he released the lever and the gate came crashing back down.

"Dad!" Kuni cried. "You were holding it up this whole time?"

"Well of course!" Susano replied. "You're my son! I wouldn't leave you in there to fend for yourself!"

"You kind of did, though," Chibi said. "But seriously though, why is that gate so heavy?"

Susano and Kuni were too busy having a love fest to answer Chibi, and Tsuki was unwillingly stuck in the middle of all the hugs.

"Look Dad, we got the mirror! Er, well I guess it's a plant thing, but either way, they're both shiny!" He swung the pokemon up to show Susano.

"Buddy-buddy," it murmured.

"Oh no, it's not looking very well…" Kuni said.

"That's probably because you've been waving it around," said Chibi.

"We'd better hurry and bring it to that girl!"

They went back to Kamiki, where the girl was still crying into her sleeves and Link was still trying to figure out what her problem with him was.

"Hey, we brought your mirror-shiny thing back," Kuni said. Chibi bloomed it to make it look less droopy. In a shower of sparkles the mysterious pokemon and the girl disappeared and were replaced by Sakuya.

"Ah, thank you Chibiterasu and little Kuni," she said.

"Wait, that girl was _you_?!" Link gaped.

"I'm surprised it took you this long," Sakuya replied dryly. "In any case, young son of Amaterasu, come with me to the Guardian Sapling…"

They followed her up and Chibi fulfilled his duty by blooming her tree and ridding the sky of ugly purple for what he hoped would be forever.

"Well, that was easy," said Link, remembering the good old days when it took about five times to bloom a tree as big as Sakuya's Guardian Sapling.

"Now, Chibiterasu, I have a favor to ask," Sakuya said. "Nippon is once again threatened by a mysterious evil, and as Amaterasu is apparently unavailable at the moment, it's your duty to revive any other saplings you come across on your travels. If you could do so…"

"Oh shit, Chibi, she's tryin' to make you her bus boy!" Link whispered.

"Bus boy?"

"An errand runner! A gopher! _DON'T LET HER TURN YOU INTO A GOPHER!_"

"Chibi can decide for himself," Sakuya said, giving Link a hard glare.

"I like blooming things," Chibi agreed. Sakuya beamed and Link despaired.

"Well then, that's settled." Sakuya clapped her hands, pleased.

"Noooooooo, Chibiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," Link wailed.

"Oh shut up," Sakuya snapped. "In any case, Chibiterasu, you must save Nippon!"

"You mean Japan?" Chibi said. "Yeah, I'm on it. Gotta just bloom these trees first. And dig up more turnips. And help Mrs. Orange."

Sakuya watched helplessly as Chibi and Kuni dicked around in Kamiki before finally heading off into Shinshu Field.

"Why must they all be competionists," she groaned.

"Sake?" Link offered.

Chibi revived the Sapling in Shinshu Field because he was tired of seeing the ugly cursed zone and because it prevented him from exploring. Much to his disappointment, however, the only thing there was to explore was Awesome Tarou's house (which he'd already seen), some guy who kept hitting him with a stick (which was rather unpleasant), and the pyrotechnics' hut.

"What's a pyrotechnic?" Chibi asked.

"I dunno," said Kuni.

Apparently it meant 'dead person', because all they found was a man lying face down on the floor.

"Is he…dead?"

"Don't be silly, Mutt, this is a kid's game. No one dies in a kid's game."

Suddenly, a strange rumbling emerged from the dead man's body.

"W-What was that?!" Kuni cried, leaping away.

"I said…I'm not dead yet…"

The man rolled over and extended a hand towards them. Chibi power slashed it instinctively and Kuni whacked him upside the head with his wooden sword. They waited for a minute or two in silence, staring at Tama's limp body.

"Great," said Kuni. "You killed him!"

"No I didn't, you're the one who hit him with your sword!"

"Mutt, we've gotta cover this up!" Kuni flailed. "Fix him! You're a god, right?"

Chibi bloomed Tama. Nothing happened.

"Stupid Mutt, blooming doesn't solve everything!"

"Yes it does," Chibi protested.

"Anyway, try the other one, Rejuvenation or whatever!"

Chibi tried Rejuvenation and ended up fixing some random hole in the floor.

"Maybe Dr. Redstache in Yakushi village can help?" Chibi suggested.

Kuni's eyes lit up. "Yeah! Great idea! Let's hurry up and go, Mutt!"

As soon as they entered the village they were met by the little girl Link inspired from Chapter 1, who seemed to be the only little girl in both Yakushi and Kamiki combined.

"Oh hello again, little doggie," she said. "And Susano's adopted son. Are you here to see the fireworks? This is the best place to see them, I know because this is the only place I will ever go to watch fireworks!"

"Really? But the sky is so ugly and purple," Chibi said, frowning at his nemisis: the purple sky.

"This might be the last time I get to see them, though," the little girl sighed. "I don't have very long left to live. I have a weird disease and it's going to kill me within the year."

"Wait, what? Within the year? I thought this was a kid's game, why are you going to die?" Kuni cried.

"Yes, I thought I was safe as well," she went on. "But you know how it is sometimes. The plot has to go along."

"Who said anything about this plot nonsense!" Kuni shouted. "This is injustice! Don't worry, we'll protect you, right Mutt?"

"What?" Chibi said. All he could think about was if he could bloom the flower on the girl's head. He was sorely tempted to try, but refrained.

"Oh, by the way, can you take us to Dr. Redstache's house?" Kuni said.

"Oh, it's easy. It's straight ahead."

By "straight ahead" she meant you had to go up and around and downward slightly to be on the right alignment with the doctor's house, since someone thought it would be a great idea to build a village suspended in the air between two mountains and make everything on different planes from each other. In any case, they reached the doctor's house at last, only to find him wringing his hands outside the doorway in anguish.

"Demons have thrashed my house! My poor herbs are in danger!"

"I think that's our cue to do something, Mutt!" said Kuni.

"Yeah!" said Chibi. He bloomed the trees in front of Dr. Redstache's house.

"That's not really what I meant…" Kuni said.

"Sorry, had to do it."

"You're not sorry at all."

They went inside and kicked the asses of all the silly demons, and at the doctor's request put the sun back up in the sky to make his herbs grow.

"_Finally_," Chibi smirked, convinced that was the last he'd see of purple sky ever again.

"Lor-gol-a-marcy!" cried Dr. Redstache when they came back inside. "My herbs! They be growin' delicious!"

"Cool," said Kuni. "Then do you mind bringing some to Tama? He's a little, uh, incapacitated…do you, by chance, have anything that cures death?"

"Wait." Dr. Redstache turned and glared at them. "Did you just say Tama?"

"Um, yes…"

"No can do, siree!" the doctor cried, crossing his arms in a huff.

"Wait, but we need to fix him or Mutt here'll be accused of murder!"

"It wasn't me, it was him!" Chibi protested.

"Tama is a no-gooder who wants to use my herbs for _fireworks_," Dr. Redstache spat. "Fireworks, of all things! And he also said my 'stache wasn't sexy! It's totally sexy." He fiddled moodily with his sexy red 'stache. "Anyway, it's a no—wait, where do you think you're taking me?!"

Chibi and Kuni dragged Dr. Redstache up the hill to where the little girl whose name was apparently Ayame was waiting for the fireworks to start. Chibi dropped Dr. Redstache and Kuni took a deep breath.

"Okay, so long story short you need to fix Tama because we accidentally killed him and by we I mean it was mostly Mutt's fault and anyway this girl here is sick and will die soon and all she really wants in life is to see the fireworks tonight—"

"I have other things I want to do in life too," Ayame interrupted. "Like become one of doggie's companions and travel Nippon."

"Well you won't, spoilers," Kuni said.

"Also it's Japan, not Nippon," said Chibi.

"—but anyway stop interrupting me so she'll die and she wants to see the fireworks but you're being a butthead about it because Tama did some stuff that I don't remember but basically he's the only one who can make fireworks here and I'm really not doing this just for myself so I won't be called a murderer for the rest of my life okay?"

"Wow, that wasn't a very short story," Chibi noted.

Dr. Redstache looked abashed. "Weeeeellll…" he said. "Fine. I'll do it. But only for the little girl, understand?"

"Whew! Thanks!" Kuni cheered. They went back to Tama's hut, where he was still lying dead on the floor.

"Hmmmm…" Dr. Redstache said.

"What is it? Can you fix him?" Kuni asked, hovering over his shoulder.

"He's dead alright," he said. "I don't know of any herbs that cure death…"

"Oh noooo!" Kuni wailed.

"…but I did dabble in the dark arts when I was younger," Dr. Redstache continued, standing up and cracking his hands behind his back. "Let's see if I can perform a little necromancy."

Before Dr. Redstache could try, Tama's body moved of its own accord and grabbed his ankle.

"I said…I'm not…dead…yet!" he hissed. Kuni shrieked and hid behind Chibi. "Does no one know the symptoms of a cold? _Cough_."

"Death is not a symptom of a cold," Dr. Redstache proclaimed.

"Huh? Hey what're you doing here?!" Tama coughed some more and brought himself up into a sitting position, staring accusingly at the doctor.

"Don't misunderstand!" the doctor replied gruffly. "I'm only helping you because a little girl wants to see your fireworks!"

"I don't want your help!" Tama said stubbornly.

"Hnnn, well fine! Be miserable! I brought cold medicine and everything too, but if you'd rather make fireworks in this state then be my guest!"

Tama squirmed, undergoing an internal struggle. "What kind of medicine?"

"Cherry flavored Pepto Bismal."

"You monster."

"Grape Tylenol if you admit my moustache is sexy."

"Urrrrrghhhhhhhhhh," Tama groaned. "Fine! Haulghlghlche."

"What'd you say?"

"It's a very sexy moustache!"

"That's right," Dr. Redstache grinned, handing over the medicine. Tama downed it and looked infinitely better. "Whoo! Time to make some rad fireworks!" He danced around the room and threw some herbs and powder together, which prompted Chibi to draw in the shape of a bomb. The bomb exploded the roof and revealed a constellation.

"Oh child of the Sun Goddess, we are the young Bakugami, the offspring of giant explosions! Use our power to clear your path whenever you're in trouble!"

"Somehow I feel like that's a bad idea," Chibi said. "I think I'll stick with bloom, thanks though."

"WAHOOOO! THAT WAS GREAT, WASN'T IT, KIDS?" Tama turned to face Dr. Redstache. "You can leave now, Redstache."

"Huh. So much for a 'thank you, my savior',"

"Who's my savior! This dog saved me more than you did! He gave me back my inspiration!"

Chibi smirked at Kuni.

"See, I'm his _savior_, not his murderer."

"What!"

"_Murderer_."

"S-Shut it!" Kuni snapped. "Anyway, let's get outta here, Mutt. I think they'll be at it for a while. And we've gotta protect Ayame from her disease!"

"How can we protect someone from a disease?"

Kuni ignored him and they returned to Yakushi to watch Tama's fireworks on the top of the hill with Ayame. While she was busy being enthralled by the fireworks, Chibi sneakily bloomed the flower on top of her head.

"So how was it?" Kuni asked when the show was over.

"Amazing!" she said breathlessly. "I feel rejuvenated! Like I've been cured of disease!"

"It's because I bloomed her flower," Chibi said.

"I don't think so. It was probably the fireworks."

"Well, whatever," Chibi said. He yawned. "I'm tired. Let's go to sleep."

"Yeah, it's waaay past my bedtime," Kuni agreed, stretching.

"I'm not going to sleep, I'm going to party," Ayame said. "You guys are wimps."

"Well, we're only kids after all," Kuni said, already drifting off.

"And I'm a—I'm a god so…I can do whatever I—" Chibi was asleep before he could even finish the sentence.

Ayame shrugged and skipped off to have a glorious tea party and necromancy lessons with Dr. Redstache. Link was there too because he always crashed parties, even the ones with tea.


	5. Agata Forest

**A/N: hm I thought I would get this up way sooner but I ended up having a cold (seriously who gets a cold in summer) and was incapacitated for a while because writing takes up so much energy, who has time for that (spoilers, not me *cries* DX) Anyway please enjoy this episode of YAOS!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: In Which Madame Fawn Gets Quite the Profit<br>**

Kuni and Chibi woke up feeling refreshed and energized.

"Ahhhh," said Kuni, sipping the Monster he got from the merchant at Yakushi. "Let's go, Mutt! Let's tackle another day! Let's save some people! Yeah!"

"Yeah!" said Chibi. "Give me some of that drink, it's good." (**A/N: please do not feed your dogs a Monster**)

With way too much energy to spare, they made their way to the edge of Shinshu Field and blasted a hole in the wall.

"Whooo! Do it again, do it again!" Kuni cheered.

Chibi giggled. "Yeah!" He ran around, blasting more holes through more walls until they came out of the tunnel onto the edge of a lake.

"Woah, wait Mutt, what's this? What happened to Agata Forest?"

"You mean Agata Lake, right?" Chibi snickered.

"It didn't used to be a lake," said Kuni. "Hey you, what happened here?"

A big man wearing a bearskin looked at them sadly. "I'm not sure what happened, only that my home is under all that water. I mean, I've heard rumors of a curse…"

"A CURSE!" Kuni shouted. "Onward, Mutt! We'll banish the curse once and for all!"

"I don't know about curses, but I can handle cursed zones," Chibi offered, blooming the Guardian Sapling.

"Hey, we should ask that guy what's going on! HEY YOU!" Kuni ran off toward some guy in the tunnel.

"SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE!" he bellowed as Kuni approached.

"Oh, uh…that's nice. So what's up with the forest here?"

"SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE!" he repeated, making them feel marginally more uncomfortable. They returned to the lakeside whereupon a cutsene revealed a little mermaid swimming towards them.

"I feel like someone was talking about me," she said once she reached shore, giving a casual flip of her mysteriously wavy blue hair. "Oh! Was it you, Squiddy?"

Chibi and Kuni looked at each other.

"She's looking at you, Mutt," Kuni whispered.

"But I'm not a squid!" Chibi hissed back.

"Well you look more like a squid than me."

"Don't you remember me, Squiddy?" the mermaid said. "It's Nanami!"

Kuni coughed. "I'm sorry, but my Mutt here doesn't know what you're talking about, and also neither of us are squids so that makes you an even worse nicknamer than Link."

"I wasn't talking to you, Octopus Hair," Nanami retorted. "Anyway, I'm a bit stressed out right now because someone stole a very important treasure and it's my job to get it back, so I'll see you later!" And with that she dove back under the water as swiftly as she'd appeared.

Kuni touched his curls self consciously. "My hair doesn't really look like an octopus, does it?"

"It kind of does," Chibi admitted.

Kuni decided to get a second opinion and ran up to the nearest person, who happened to be a kid wearing a dead rabbit on his head.

"Oh hello," the kid said. "What's up?"

"I dunno, you tell me," said Kuni. "I'm Kuni and this is Mutt."

"I have a name you know," Chibi said indignantly.

"I'm Kokari and this is Ume," the boy greeted.

"Kokari?" Kuni rubbed his eyes. "Wait, what are you doing in Agata? What happened to Kamui?"

"It was a little too cold for me, aha," Kokari said. "But how did you know I was in Kamui?"

"Oh uh…anyway you were going to tell us what happened here, right?"

"Oh yeah," Kokari said. "A demon came a while ago and flooded the forest. You won't believe this, but I heard it was a—" He leaned in and beckoned them to do the same. "—_giant catfish!_"

Chibi and Kuni glanced at each other.

"That sounds dumb," said Chibi.

"Believe it or not, catfish are super dangerous!" Kokari went on. "They're monstrous killers of the river! But I'm going to catch it and become a real man, just like my hero, Jeremy Wade!"

"Who's Jeremy Wade?' Chibi asked.

"Dunno," said Kuni. "Besides, I don't believe in catfish."

"Anyway, if you don't mind I'm going to keep fishing," Kokari said. "It requires 100% of my concentration!"

"You don't have any line," Chibi pointed out, but Kokari ignored him. To Kuni, he asked, "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Wait for him to hook one, I guess," Kuni replied. "I mean, isn't that what your mom did?"

So they waited around for a while, watching Kokari attempt to fish without a line. It was extremely boring. Just like real fishing.

"Are you sure we're supposed to wait for him to catch a fish?" Chibi said dubiously. He was still feeling fidgety after all the Monster he drank.

"Pretty sure," said Kuni, who wasn't sure at all.

Chibi, being the god that he was, decided to take matters into his own hands and find the fortune teller for forward progress hints. He found her in a gaudy tent on top of a hill by the sacred spring, but she wanted to sell him a fortune for 500 yen; and because he was a cheapskate just like his mother, he decided to just figure things out for himself. It was already dark when he came back out to the lake, and Kuni was arguing with weird blue fairies circling over the water.

"Hey, listen!" the fairies clamored.

"I've _been_ listening!" Kuni cried exasperatedly. "Ugh, Chibi, thank god you're here, they won't stop talking!"

"Shit," Chibi said. "What are we supposed to do with these?" He sent Kuni back up to the fortune teller's and he came back with a paper that read, _You should have just bought one the first time, dumbass._

"That doesn't actually help," said Chibi, feeling ripped off.

"Hey, _listen_!" said the fairies. Chibi suddenly noticed they had numbers on them.

"Oh, connect the dots, duh!" he said, now feeling stupid _and_ ripped off.

Somehow creating a star pattern with the fairies made a secret entrance appear in the lake, and with a triumphant cry of "Leap before you think!" Chibi and Kuni fell straight into a demon market.

"Good thing I brought this paper with me!" Kuni said, sticking one on his face and one on Chibi's.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Madame Fawn sold them to me for 500 yen each."

"So much for teamwork," Chibi mumbled. Kuni didn't seem to understand the value of money.

With the faces of monsters newly plastered on their foreheads, they proceeded through the demon market, stopping every once in a while for Kuni to cry, "Ew, gross!" or make gagging noises at the pieces of body parts strewn across the counters. Chibi didn't admit that he wanted to try the fingers. They looked particularly crunchy.

They didn't get very far before they were stopped by a weird floating ball of gas that appeared to have something resembling teeth if you looked closely.

"Can't let ya through!" the demon cried cheerfully.

"Aww," said Chibi. "I wanted to see the rest of the stalls!" The market was reminding him of what his mom described as a festival, and he'd never been to a festival before. He wanted to see the famous parties and drink the famous sake.

"Well, supposin' I _could_ let ya through…" the demon went on, feeling a little bad. "I'd only do it if ya got me a fire eye, all under the table like! But I mean, it's not like ya could find any of those nowadays!"

"Oh crap, we need to go on some quest to find a fire eye, huh," Kuni sighed as the demon laughed. "Or fight some scary monster or something."

They desperately scoured the area for secret entrances and the like, but besides a piece of Link's masterpieces they didn't find anything.

"Ugh, let's talk to this guy and see if he knows anything," Kuni said.

"Hey, you kids lookin' for a fire eye? Good thing I restocked!" The red fire demon gave them a fire eye for the cheap price of only 500 yen, and with that they returned to the blue fire demon at the gate.

"That was deceptively easy," Kuni said.

"Why is everything 500 yen?" Chibi grumbled. They continued exploring the rest of the demon market, which to Chibi's disappointment wasn't very much, and came once again to another blue fire demon, who could have very well been the same one as before.

"You kids lookin' to get past, eh?"

"Yep," said Chibi. "This festival has been utterly disappointing."

"Well, past here's a special event, so I'm gonna need a password from you if you wanna join in!" the demon said. "Actually, there're three passwords, us demons are very thorough, haha!"

"So, uh, how do we know what the passwords are?" asked Kuni.

"Oh, they're around somewhere," the demon replied, waving them away.

"I think he was just trying to get rid of us," Kuni muttered to Chibi.

"Well, there's no harm in looking anyway," Chibi said, so they ran up and down through the market, looking at everything possible there was to look at.

"Hey, I found something!" Kuni cried. "It says…" He paused, seemingly confused. "Um, it says… 'A real man eats butts'?"

"Mine says, 'Hellbent god baby consumes'." Chibi wasn't sure what that meant, and wasn't sure he wanted to know. "Um but yeah. I guess we need one more then."

They found the last one on some weird smiling statue that was painted all over in graffiti reading, _THE LAST PASSWORD'S HERE, IDIOTS!_ This one said, 'ravenous flesh, hmmm'.

"Okay, we have all the passwords," Kuni announced to the blue demon.

"Oh yeah? Let's hear it then!"

"Um okay… 'A real man eats butts. Hellbent god baby consumes. Ravenous flesh, hmmm.'"

"Woah, is that supposed to be a haiku?" Chibi asked, somewhat disturbed.

"A work of art, that one is! Alright, you two can go ahead. You better hurry, registration's almost closed!"

"Registration for what?" Kuni asked innocently. The demon only responded with a cackle.

The room they entered was a wide, circular arena with a giant, wrinkly head smoking a pipe at the opposite end.

"OMIGOD GROSS WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Kuni cried, recoiling with disgust. Thankfully the Witch Queen was deaf or something, because she ignored him and puffed out a few lazy rings. Or maybe she thought it was a compliment.

"What's Nanami doing here?" asked Chibi, noticing the mermaid in a huge glass container.

"That mermaid's the prize for the winner of the arm wrestling contest!" a particularly helpful demon explained.

Chibi looked at Kuni, who was sweating terribly.

"Yeah, okay, I got it!" Kuni said. His teeth chattered and his legs were shaking. "I-I-I'll help her! I'm the son of Susano!"

"You're the adopted son of Susano," Chibi corrected.

"Oh shut it, Mutt, I'm trying to be brave here!"

Kuni was doing such a good job of trying to be brave that he wasn't bothering moving forward at all, so Chibi dragged him off to sign up for the tournament.

"Sorry, registration's closed!" boomed a short little yellow imp. "Unless you pay me 500 yen, that is…"

"UGH FINE," Chibi said.

"AAAAAAAAAALRIGHT!" the MC declared, grinning toothily. "Oh, what's your name, kiddos?"

"Uh, bluh," said Kuni unhelpfully.

"Weird name," the MC scoffed, but continued nonetheless. "AAAAAAALRIGHT! First match is the Green Paddlers versus the Uh Bluh Team!"

A pair of green imps rushed out to them. One grabbed Kuni's hand. The other looked at Chibi, baffled.

"How am I s'posed to arm wrestle a dog?" it asked.

"READY, BEGIN!" the MC cried. Kuni found himself entangled in an intense arm wrestling match with his imp. It was surprisingly strong.

"Oh, uh, what's the mermaid doing over there?!" he cried.

"Huh?" said the imp looking around, and Kuni slammed its arm on the table.

"I win!" he cried.

Chibi simply destroyed his imp.

They did the same thing the next round. Kuni honestly didn't expect it to work again, but as it turns out demons are pretty stupid and gullible. It made them almost endearing.

"Wow, the Uh Bluh team is doing really well, despite having an awful name!" the MC declared. "Now for the final round against the champ of years past, RED HOT RIDER!"

There was cheering as a fiery top with a single eye hopped up to the table to challenge Kuni.

"It…has no arms," Kuni said. "Wait, how did this thing become the champion if it doesn't have any arms?"

"Oh. Huh. You're right," said the MC. "Well, usually the other team forfeited or we let Red Hot Rider win because his name is so awesome."

"That's dumb," said Chibi. Red Hot Rider sniffed and spun away from the table in shame.

"He didn't mean it!" Kuni called after it. "Wow, what a jerk. You made it cry."

Chibi felt a little bad.

"And Team Uh Bluh is the winner!" the MC said. "Congrats! You guy's earned a mermaid and a 500 yen cash prize!"

"Oh good," Chibi said, glad to have gotten at least some of his 500 yen back.

Meanwhile, Kuni went up to Nanami's container. "Hey, we're here to save you!"

"Huh!" she sniffed, turning her head.

"It's us!" Kuni lifted his mask a little to show her. "See?"

She gave him a withering look. "I knew it was you, I'm not stupid. You didn't cover your stupid octopus hair, of course I would recognize you anywhere. But anyway that's not the point! The point is, I don't want to get rescued by you!"

"Wait, why? But you'll be eaten by demons!"

"Because I hate humans!" she huffed.

"Wow, that's a dramatic change from earlier," Kuni said, a little hurt.

"Some kid wearing a dead rabbit on his head caught me and offered me as a sacrifice!" she cried. "Do you know how humiliating that is? Not to mention life threatening? Humans have no respect for us Dragonians, that's for sure!"

"Must've been Kokari," Chibi said. "No one else fishes in Nippon anymore, it's so boring."

"Well, we're taking you anyway," said Kuni. "We came this far already, it'd be a waste of my brave show of bravery! Also we don't want you to die, this is a kid's game. No one dies in kid's games."

Kuni attempted to push the heavy container, but ended up tripping and somehow tearing the mask off both his face and Chibi's.

"How did you even _do_ that?" Chibi said, half in awe and half in exasperation.

"Oh shit!" cried the MC. "Intruders!"

Suddenly the Witch Queen seemed to be a lot more invested in what was happening. She leapt off her pedestal and whipped out a couple giant, bloody cleavers she kept in her hair, slashing at Kuni and Chibi and Nanami.

"OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD," Kuni wailed, backing into Nanami's container. She flopped out helplessly onto the floor.

"Ugh, stupid useless fins!"

Kuni gulped and drew his sword, his legs shaking so bad Chibi was afraid he'd fall over.

"Take her and run, Mutt!" he cried. "I-I'm the son of Susano! I won't die even if I'm killed!"

"Don't try it, please!" Chibi said, worried in spite of himself. He flung Nanami onto his back and hightailed it back through the demon market while Kuni distracted the Witch Queen.

"How are we going to get out?" said Nanami in a carefully calm and practical voice.

"HEEEEEEEEEEELP!" screamed Kuni, flailing towards them with the Witch Queen at his heels.

"COME BACK TO ME, MY PRETTY!" the Witch Queen screeched.

"And how is he not dead?" she added.

A fishing line suddenly dropped down and without bothering to think about it Chibi grabbed hold. Kuni jumped and held onto his tail as they were being pulled up.

"Oh god, that was terrifying," Kuni wheezed, lying on the bank. "Who saved us?"

It was Kokari, of course.

"Madame Fawn told me if I cast my line here, something good would happen," he said. "And it's a good thing I did!"

He looked at Nanami and she turned away with a huff.

"I'm sorry about sacrificing you," he said. "I am really very ashamed. It's not something I should have done. It's not something Jeremy Wade would have ever done!"

"Won't you forgive him, Nanami?" Kuni pleaded. "Look at that face. That is a sincere face."

It really was, except for maybe the rabbit. Nanami pursed her lips. "Oh fine! I forgive you!" she snapped. In a softer tone, she added, "It wasn't entirely your fault, I guess. But if you ever do it again…"

"Oh, never!" Kokari promised.

"See? We can all be friends. Hug, let's have a group hug. You too, Mutt." Kuni gathered everyone in a group hug. It was endless amounts of cute and soft, squishy feelings on the inside.

"NO HAPPINESS!" boomed a voice, and with a heavy _wham!_ a giant catfish scooped Kuni into its mouth and ducked back into the depths.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: We can't be having happiness now, can we. Also I would like to note that Jeremy Wade is the host of a show called River Monsters, which is like my favorite show because I am a nerd and enjoy randomly learning about various river fish (no but seriously though that show is the best check it out). Anyway, keep doing what you've been doing and keep up the reviews! :D**


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